Why Dharbai is used as ring during auspicious & inauspicious occasions!!! Forwarded by my friend”This article is on one of the practices widely used by Indian Brahmins all over using a Holy Grass named Dharbham or Dharbai. The botonical name is Eragrostis cynosuroides and Hindi they callas Kus or Kusha. Brahmins use this Darbai grass in all functions, auspicious or inauspicious. A performing person needs to wear a ring made of thisDharbham. But many have lost the reason of why it is to be used in the first place.What I learnt from my father is proved to be accurately correct by a Medicine Practitioner. A medical practitioner, once visited my home. When the topic turned to manysubjects, I needed to tell him about the Holy Grass named Dharbham. When I told him about the usage and the values, he could not just believe my words. So, he took out a bunch of the Dharbhamfrom me, went straight to the clinic to take an x-ray of his palm, by covering his hand with the Dharbham. To his utter surprise, he found that the grass absorbed about 60% of the (x-ray) radiation!When the so powerful X-ray radiation can be absorbed by the Holy Grass, why can it not absorb the ill-radiations spread over the atmosphere? While chanting and reciting some Vedic phrases andversus, one needs to wear a ring made of Dharbham on his right hand ring finger. This is most essential, while performing all the rituals, such as Agni Santhanam, Thiru-Aaradhanam, all sorts ofHavans known as Homam etc.The count of leaves depends upon the function that is held viz.: for some functions related to death only Single leaf Dharbham is used; for Auspicious and daily routine a ring made of two leaves isused; for inauspicious but not death related functions, (i.e. Amavasya Tharppanam,Pithru Pooja etc) a three leaf Dharbham ring is used. And for the Temple Prayer and Pooja, a Four-leaf Dharbhamring is used.Also, when a fire ritual known as Agni Santhana is performed, these Dharbham are spread all the four sides of the Agni Kundam. Also, during the Eclipse time, these Dharbham are used to cover allfood items to protect them from the harmful ultra violet radiation.Whenever any function is held, firstly they perform a site-cleansing act known as “Sudhhi Punyaahavachanam”. While reciting the selective versus, they hold the Dharbham bunch in their hand andplacing the tip point of it over the vessel containing water. Thus the recited vibration values are absorbed by water in the vessel through the Dharbham.They found that the Holy Grass known as Dharbham has the highest value in conducting the phonetic vibrations through its tip. Later, they sprinkle the Holy water at every nook and corner of the place,where the function is held. A Dharbham without the tip is considered of no value, as the conductor-type value is lost in it.”
Posts Tagged ‘India’
Edgewater Beach Hotel. Their combined wealth, it is estimated,
exceeded the wealth of the Government of the United States at that
These men certainly knew how to make a living and accumulate wealth.
Attending the meeting were the following men:
1. The President of the largest steel company,
2. The President of the largest utility company,
3. The President of the largest gas company,
4. The President of the New York Stock Exchange,
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlements,
6. The greatest wheat speculator,
7. The greatest bear on Wall Street,
8. A member of President Harding’s cabinet.
9. The head of the World’s greatest monopoly
That’s a pretty impressive line-up of people by anyone’s yardstick
1. The President of the then largest steel company (Bethlehem Steel
Corp), Charles M Schwab, lived on borrowed capital for five years
before he died bankrupt.
2. The President of the largest utility company, Samuel Insull, died penniless!
3. The President of the then largest gas company, Howard Hubson, went insane.
4. The then President of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney,
was sent to jail.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement, Leon Fraser,
6. One of the greatest commodity traders (Wheat Speculator) , Arthur
Cutten, died insolvent.
7. The greatest “bear” on Wall Street, Jesse Livermore committed suicide.
8. The member of the US President’s Cabinet (the member of President
Harding’s cabinet), Albert Fall, was pardoned from jail just to be
able to go home and die in peace.
9. The President of the then world’s greatest monopoly, Ivar Krueger,
What they forgot was how to “make” life while they got busy making
money! Money in itself is not evil. It is only a medium of exchange.
We need two kinds of education. One that teaches us how to make a
living and the second how to live.
Many of us get so engrossed in professional life that we neglect our
family, health, social responsibilities. And when asked why we do it,
we would reply “For our family”
when we come home! 25years later, we’ll turn back and they’ll be gone
to pursue their own dreams and lives.
Lessons from a Ship:
Without water, a ship cannot move. It needs water but if the water
gets into the ship, it will face existential problems. What was a
“means of living” becomes a “means of destruction”.
Similarly we live in time where earning is a necessity but let not the
earning enter our hearts, for what was once a means of living will
surely become a means of destruction for us as well!
So take a moment to ask yourself:
“Has the water entered my ship?”
The names :
Source : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bwi539ujIk (time 22.22)
However, there is a slight controversy to the last name. It is also called Adhomugam ( Source : http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/translations-meanings/8231-need-information-lord-shivas-sixth-face.html). Some people believe it is beyond the comprehension of human mind, other proclaim four faces as the 4 directions, 5 th one facing upwards and the 6 th one facing the earth and can’t be seen, while still other consider Godess Shakti as the sixth face.
But one this is for sure, he has six faces and six sparks from the 3rd eyes of six faces of Shiva resulted in the birth of Lord Murugan to Kill Suran (Sura Samharam).
How many of us have a bucket list of places to go and things to do there but never get around to actually going there or doing them. Yahoo! India reader Thennarasu wrote to us with an invitation to his home state, Tamil Nadu, with this list of 50 things to do while you’re there.
1. Eat a meal on a banana leaf — there’s a belief that it might cure Parkinson ‘s disease
2. Visit the Great Living Chola Temples, the UNESCO World Heritage Site dating back to the 10th century
3. Go to Ooty on the Nilgiri Mountain Railway — it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and a legacy of remarkable British engineering
Yahoo Lifestyle Entertainment Photo by Pawan Koppa/IRFCATue 10 Jul, 2012 3:30 PM ISTOn a cold morning, a crowd of people rush to board the 662SR Mettupalayam-Udhagamandalam (Nilagiri) Passenger.
PAWAN KOPPA is an IT professional who is a full-time techie on weekdays while transforming… more
4. Get blessed by an elephant — how often can you get one?
5. Visit the Cholamandalam Artists’ Village, the pride of modern Tamil Art
6. Take an auto ride in Chennai. Chennai auto-drivers even have their own websites. Plus, it is the luxury of the middle-class.
7. Taste idli and dosa and wonder how many types of chutneys exist in Tamil Nadu. We are really a bunch of choosy pickers when it comes to idli and dosa!
8. Watch a Rajanikanth film in a movie theatre, if possible on the first day to understand the definition of hero worship!
9. Participate in Jallikattu — bull taming — in Madurai. Or, if you’re chicken, just watch!
10. Find and listen to your favourite Ilayaraja or A R Rahman song — everybody’s got to have one!
11. Men, sport a moustache. And women, plait your hair and decorate it with a garland of fragrant jasmine flowers!
12. Decorate the front of your house with kolam — a more decorative and artistic rendition of rangoli — and hang bunches of harvested paddy outside your home for the birds to feed on. (We have our own homegrown Kolam Picassos, and the patterns they come out with are astonishing!)
13. Drink strong filter coffee In a Tamil-style cup and saucer known as davarah and tumbler
14. Visit the shore temples of Mahabalipuram (another UNESCO World Heritage Site of the 7th century) and admire the art of sculpting in this little town
15. Wander around to wonder at the Indo-Saracenic and Gothic style buildings of Chennai, some of which are over a hundred years old
16. Visit Pondicherry to marvel at the French Architecture (and our own French Connection)
17. Beat the heat by eating all your summer fruit glazed with a layer of salt-and-chilli-powder mixture! Cucumber, unripe mango, gooseberry, guava and pineapple taste best like this. And drink tender coconut or buttermilk or sugarcane juice to quench your thirst. And if you like it aerated, there’s Bovonto, our very own answer to Coca Cola!
18. Shop for beautiful silk sarees at Kancheepuram (the Chinese may have invented silk, but Tamils perfected it)
19. Celebrate Pongal by cooking sweet rice outdoors in clay pots or join the annual celebration of Elephant Pongal at Top Slip
20. Buy Horlicks for someone sick
21. Feed crows on special occasions
22. Whistle for Chennai Super Kings at M A Chidambaram stadium!
23. Attend Thiruvaiyaru Music Festival
24. Visit Pichavaram, the world’s second largest mangrove forests, for the Dawn Fest or Vidiyal Vizha
25. Sanctify your new dresses with turmeric
The imposing Matri Mandir at Auroville26. Visit Auroville, the international commune near Pondicherry
27. Visit the Toda tribal village in the Nilgiris (also learn about the other tribes — Badaga, Irula, Kota and Kurumba)
28. Go to Natyanjali Dance Festival celebrated at the 1,000-year-old Chidambaram temple near Cuddalore. The dance hall is adorned with pillars exhibiting the classic 108 poses of Lord Nataraja.
29. Go on a parisal (coracle) ride in Hogenakkal
30. Watch the magical kurinji flower bloom in Kodaikanal. It blooms every 12 years and the next bloom is in 2018
31. Widen your understanding of Tamil culture and architecture at Dakshina Chitra, Muttukadu
32. Go to Sittanavasal in Pudukkottai district to see some of the oldest Jain paintings
33. Visit the iconic Madurai Meenakshi temple
34. Ride into the Mudumalai Tiger Reserve on an elephant
35. Explore corals and other marine life in a glass-bottomed boat in the Gulf of Mannar Marine National Park
36. Visit Karaikudi to experience the vibrant Chettinad culture, architecture and food
37. Watch Theerthavari in Mahamaham Tank, Kumbakonam, held once in 12 years. A dip in the tank is believed to offer the combined benefits of a bath in all the sacred rivers. The next Mahamaham is in 2016.
38. Taste some regional speciality dishes and snacks — Dindigul biryani, Manaparai muruku, Thirunelveli halwa, Madurai jigar thanda and Kumbakonam coffee
39. Visit the Birla Science Planetarium in Chennai
40. Spot endangered wildlife in Meghamalai in Theni district. Meghamalai is also known for its spice tourism with a variety of plantations including tea, coffee, pepper, cardamom and cinnamon.
41. Throw rice on the bride and groom at a Tamil wedding. Rice signifies prosperity and fertility
42. Buy a pair of Kuthu Vilakku — brass lamps — from Nachiyar Kovil in Kumbakonam. Every public event and home celebration begins only after these brass lamps are lit.
43. Witness the making of bronze statues using the traditional Lost-Wax process at Swamimalai near Kumbakonam
44. Join the Students’ Sea Turtle Conservation Network (SSTCN) volunteers on a night walk along the beaches of Chennai to conserve and create awareness about the endangered Olive Ridley Sea Turtle.
45. Enjoy the panoramic view of Tiruchi and Srirangam from Tiruchi Malai Kotai Rock Fort
46. Get your picture on a street poster or a billboard for some reason (marriage, birthday, welcoming a political leader, coming-of-age ritual, ear-piercing ritual, or just to wish your favourite actor or sports star!)
47. Go birdwatching in any of the birding hotspots — Vedanthangal , Pulicat Lake, Kunthakulam or Point Calimere
48. Taste the Mukkani — three supreme and heavenly fruits — mango, jackfruit and banana
49. Try to know your future from Nadi Jothidam – these are palm manuscript horoscopes written hundreds of years ago for every individual on earth. Or try parrot astrology or palmistry.
50. Walk amidst lush green paddy fields
Thennarasu is a BPO employee who works in Chennai. Originally from Kumbakonam, his interests include travel, photography, meeting new people, bird-watching and cooking.
WHY TO VISIT TEMPLES ?
There are thousands of temples all over India in different size, shape and locations but not all of them are considered to be built the Vedic way. Generally, a temple should be located at a place where earth’s magnetic wave path passes through densely. It can be in the outskirts of a town/village or city, or in middle of the dwelling place, or on a hilltop. The essence of visiting a temple is discussed here.
Now, these temples are located strategically at a place where the positive energy is abundantly available from the magnetic and electric wave distributions of north/south pole thrust. The main idol is placed in the core center of the temple, known as “*Garbhagriha*” or *Moolasthanam*. In fact, the temple structure is built after the idol has been placed. This *Moolasthanam* is where earth’s magnetic waves are found to be maximum. We know that there are some copper plates, inscribed with Vedic scripts, buried beneath the Main Idol. What are they really? No, they are not God’s / priests’ flash cards when they forget the *shlokas*. The copper plate absorbs earth’s magnetic waves and radiates it to the surroundings. Thus a person regularly visiting a temple and walking clockwise around the Main Idol receives the beamed magnetic waves and his body absorbs it. This is a very slow process and a regular visit will let him absorb more of this positive energy. Scientifically, it is the positive energy that we all require to have a healthy life.
Further, the Sanctum is closed on three sides. This increases the effect of all energies. The lamp that is lit radiates heat energy and also provides light inside the sanctum to the priests or *poojaris* performing the pooja. The ringing of the bells and the chanting of prayers takes a worshipper into trance, thus not letting his mind waver. When done in groups, this helps people forget personal problems for a while and relieve their stress. The fragrance from the flowers, the burning of camphor give out the chemical energy further aiding in a different good aura. The effect of all these energies is supplemented by the positive energy from the idol, the copper plates and utensils in the *Moolasthan*am / *Garbagraham*. *Theertham*, the “holy” water used during the pooja to wash the idol is not
plain water cleaning the dust off an idol. It is a concoction of Cardamom,*Karpura* (Benzoin), zaffron / saffron, *Tulsi* (Holy Basil), Clove, etc…Washing the idol is to charge the water with the magnetic radiations thus increasing its medicinal values. Three spoons of this holy water is distributed to devotees. Again, this water is mainly a source of magneto-therapy. Besides, the clove essence protects one from tooth decay, the saffron & *Tulsi* leafs protects one from common cold and cough, cardamom and *Pachha Karpuram* (benzoin), act as mouth fresheners. It is proved that *Theertham* is a very good blood purifier, as it is highly energized. Hence it is given as *prasadam* to the devotees. This way, one can claim to remain healthy by regularly visiting the Temples. This is why our elders used to suggest us to offer prayers at the temple so that you will be cured of many ailments. They were not always superstitious. Yes, in a few cases they did go overboard when due to ignorance they hoped many serious diseases could be cured at temples by deities. When people go to a temple for the *Deepaaraadhana*, and when the doors open up, the positive energy gushes out onto the persons who are there. The water that is sprinkled onto the assemblages passes on the energy to all. This also explains why men are not allowed to wear shirts at a few temples and women are requested to wear more ornaments during temple visits. It is through these jewels (metal) that positive energy is absorbed by the women. Also, it is a practice to leave newly purchased jewels at an idol’s feet and then wear them with the idol’s blessings. This act is now justified after reading this article. This act of “seeking divine blessings” before using any new article, like books or pens or automobiles may have stemmed from this through mere observation.
Energy lost in a day’s work is regained through a temple visit and one is refreshed slightly. The positive energy that is spread out in the entire temple and especially around where the main idol is placed, are simply absorbed by one’s body and mind. Did you know, every Vaishnava(Vishnu devotees), “must” visit a Vishnu temple twice every day in their location. Our practices are NOT some hard and fast rules framed by 1 man and his followers or God’s words in somebody’s dreams. All the rituals, all the practices are, in reality, well researched, studied and scientifically backed thesis which form the ways of nature to lead a good healthy life.
The scientific and research part of the practices are well camouflaged as “elder’s instructions” or “granny’s teaching’s” which should be obeyed as a mark of respect so as to once again, avoid stress to the mediocre brains.
How right were they in their branding Indian Itihaasa as mythological? In the last decade or so, the scientific advancements that have taken place, have helped scientific historians revisit the text for historical proofs.
Bharath Gyan has researched information on Rama from a rational, scientific and logical perspective to try and understand if Rama has in reality been a historical person.
In the Ramayana text the family tree of Rama starts tracing his lineage right from Kashyapa Aditi to his times and after his times down to the times of Mahabaratha. This means at least 50 generations on either sides of Rama have been named and their achievements mentioned.
These names and their achievements have been cross verified in other literary texts of other periods of time when those kings who were the ancestors or successors to Rama lived. Such detailed lineage on either side along with their correlation in other texts would be possible if the persons mentioned therein are historical.
In the Tamil text Aga na nooru which belong to the Sangam literature period Rama is mentioned by name in the 70th song of Neithal Thinai. This indicates that he was not only popular in his region but was discussed by the pre-historic tamil scholars also.
During the Mughal times Begum Hamida Banu, wife of Humayun and the mother of Akbar prepared the Persian version of the Ramayana as it was a historical text of her land. Akbar prepared one more Ramayana during his times as Emperor. These texts are richly painted and are today in various museums of the world. These were not prepared as religious text but as historical texts of the land they ruled.
Ramayana as a text is geographically very correct. Every site on Rama’s route is still identifiable and has continuing traditions in the form of temples to commemorate Rama’s visit.
In those remote days no author had the travel facility to concoct a geographically credible story and building it into local folklore.
The concept of describing dates astronomically has been a practice in India since days bygone and thus lot of Indian literature are embedded with such astronomical data.
This is a technique of charting the future or past sky using a scientific tool. This tool helps to arrive at planetary positions given a date in future or past and vice-versa i.e. given a set of planetary configurations, arrive at the date either in future or in the past.
Such tools are collectively called Planetarium software. There are probably over 50 such different software available. Each software can be used specifically for a particular application, like, plotting the current night sky chart, predicting eclispes and the likes. When spacecrafts are launched to visit far-off planets like Jupiter and Saturn, it would take a travel time of well over 12 years for the spacecraft to reach these planets. This software helps determine orbital positions of the planets when the spacecraft reaches their orbits. For this, a high level of precision is required in the software.
Unlike any other civilization so far, the literature of the Indian civilization is characterised for being embedded with night sky observations. Feeding the observations of the planetary configurations into the Planetarium software gives us the English calender dates when these configurations could have occured in the past. When these dates are logically arranged along with the events, it helps us to scientifically assign dates to events mentioned in Indian legends and historical texts, and validate them.
Thus the astronomical remains left behind in our literature can be analysed scientifically to arrive at historic dates for various events. This approach is parallel to archaeology where physical remains are analysed to arrive at historic dates and hence gives rise to a new branch of scientific dating which may be called Archaeo-astronomy. Various modern day researchers have made use of this software to arrive at such historic dates for various events described in the Indian literature.
They have collated the outputs of such credible work which are worthy of standing up to cross validation. In the context of the Historicity of Rama, the works of Shri. Pushkar Bhatnagar, as brought out in the book “Dating the Era of Lord Ram” form the basis of what is presented here to understand the dates of the events in Rama’s lifetime .
This particular text, Ramayana, when analysed from a scientific perspective using such Archeo-Astronomy techniques, shows tremendous internal consistency between the events described astronomically and the storyline based elapse time between those events. This method puts forth the below mentioned dates for the events that occur in the Ramanaya legend.
Sri Rama Navami – Birth day 10th January 5114 BCE
Birth of Bharatha 11th January 5114 BCE
Pre coronation eve 4th January 5089 BCE Khar
Dushan episode 7th October 5077 BCE
Vali Vadham 3rd April 5076 BCE
Hanuman’s Visit to Lanka 12th September 5076 BCE
Hanuman’s Return from Lanka 14th September 5076 BCE
Army March to Lanka 12th September 5076 BCE
It is indeed noteworthy to observe that these dates are internally consistent
While the purpose of this software was different, it has now thrown open a potential for a new branch of science which can be named Archeo Astronomy as just like archeology it can help date events as described in literature. This software has now become declassified and is available for public use. This modern method of – Archeo Astronomy is still not accepted or practiced by traditional historians as it requires knowledge of traditional astronomy, mathematics as well modern day sky chart reading techniques all of which go into the realm of science.
This branch of archeology requires and will create a new breed of archeologists and has the potential to date more events from our vast store of literature than traditional archeology can.
We have seen a lot many people lately, educated and unlike, find worshipping the Shivalinga a little….”embarassing”. This is simply because most of the times, the don’t know everything about it. Let’s have a look at the design first.
❒ Structure :
To understand the whole concept, we need to know that as per Sanatan Dharma, the whole frame of universal/cosmic reality compromises of three fundamental states :
• Evolution (Shrishthi)===========> Brahma (Creator)
These three states operate in a cyclic process, in that order, throughout infinity. Each state is controlled by a God; thus Brahma the creator controls evolution, Vishnu the preserver controls existence and Shiva the destroyer controls involution.
The Shivlinga, is nothing but the symbolic representation of the unity of these three states of the universe/cosmos. It consists of three parts :
• The Square Base : It is made up of three layers at the bottom showing the three mythical realms (lokas) :
It symbolizes evolution, and thus, the place of Brahma.
• The Octagonal Round : It is present in the middle and shows the eight directions (Ashta-dikpala) [Astha=Eight, Dik=Direction, Pala=Guardian] :
It symbolizes existence or perseverance, and thus, the place of Vishnu.
• The Cylinder : It is at the top with a spherical end, symbolizing involution or completion of the cosmic cycle, and thus, the place of Shiva.
Naturally, people ask, why the “linga”? Why the phallus? Let’s get to it.
First and foremost, as per Sanskrit, “linga” means symbol/sign. In the “Shvetasvatara Upanishad” it is said that Lord Shiva, the Supreme Being, has no linga (i.e. sign or symbol). What it means is that it is impossible to define Brahman (the one supreme, universal Spirit that is the origin and support of the phenomenal universe) or that is alinga.
So how does one pray to this Brahman who is beyond any definable/comprehensible characteristic? The answer to that is simple. In Sanatana Dharma, each individual has the freedom to define the Supreme Being/Spirit or Brahman in the most convenient way he/she is comfortable.
Now think back. What is the most astonishing miracle that living beings experience? The answer is simple…it’s the creation of a new life from two lives. It is only natural that the male reproductive organ appeared to people as the ideal symbol of expression of Supreme Being/Spirit as it represented strength and regenerative power. When a Linga is installed on a Yoni, it represents the union of Shiva and Shakti, and thus, the beginning of creation.
What is also represent is the harmony of energies in the cosmos. The balance of the male and female energies, the Ying and the Yang from China, the day and the night, the sun and the moon, the white and the black, the Devas and the Asuras and so on. Besides, phalluses and menhirs were worshipped in many ancient societies. Google will help you with that.
The Mahabharata itself states that Shiva’s linga was worshipped by many!
• Chapter 7, section 20, verse 22 : Know everything, which is male, to be Ishana, and all that is female to be Uma; for this whole world, animate and inanimate, is pervaded by these two bodies. Shiva’s divine Linga is worshipped by the Gods, seers, Gandharvas and Apsaras.
• Chapter 13, section 19, verses 78 : The greatness of this form of Shiva is based on the fact that the children bear neither the lotus symbol of Brahma nor of Vishnu’s discus; but one marked with the male and female organs, the linga and yoni, originated from Mahadeva and Devi.
In the Puranas, it is said : The Supreme Being appeared before Lord Brahma and Vishnu in the form of a ‘pillar of fire’, which had no end and beginning.
The incarnations of Lord Vishnu, viz, Lord Ram, Parshuram and Lord Krishna, are all known to have worshipped the Shiv Linga.
It is now that the society has come to revile sex and hence everything to do with it. Why, is a different matter for another post. 😉
Later on, due to influences of the society, people have become more comfortable with worshipping Shiva in his human complete form alongside Parvati. Xenophanes had even said that is horses or lions had hands, they would have created images of God akin to their own kind who were horselike or lionlike. So it’s all but natural for humans to resculpt gods in human images.
It doesn’t matter though. Like previously said, in Sanatana Dharma, each individual has the freedom to define the Supreme Being/Spirit or Brahman in the most convenient way he/she is comfortable. When one worships the Shiva-Linga, one is worshipping the trinity of Gods, the complete universal fundamental states and thus, the very existence of the Supreme Being. After all, everything is Brahman.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Today I am Anna Hazare ☺
For your education if you do not know this —- See how Lokpal Bill
can curb the politicians, Circulate it to create awareness
System Proposed by civil society
No politician or senior officer ever goes to jail despite huge
evidence because Anti Corruption Branch (ACB) and CBI directly come
under the government. Before starting investigation or initiating
prosecution in any case, they have to take permission from the same
bosses, against whom the case has to be investigated.
Lokpal at centre and Lokayukta at state level will be independent
bodies. ACB and CBI will be merged into these bodies. They will have
power to initiate investigations and prosecution against any officer
or politician without needing anyoneⳠpermission. Investigation should
be completed within 1 year and trial to get over in next 1 year.
Within two years, the corrupt should go to jail.
No corrupt officer is dismissed from the job because Central Vigilance
Commission, which is supposed to dismiss corrupt officers, is only an
advisory body. Whenever it advises government to dismiss any senior
corrupt officer, its advice is never implemented.
Lokpal and Lokayukta will have complete powers to order dismissal of a
corrupt officer. CVC and all departmental vigilance will be merged
into Lokpal and state vigilance will be merged into Lokayukta.
No action is taken against corrupt judges because permission is
required from the Chief Justice of India to even register an FIR
against corrupt judges.
Lokpal & Lokayukta shall have powers to investigate and prosecute any
judge without needing anyoneⳠpermission.
Nowhere to go – People expose corruption but no action is taken on
Lokpal & Lokayukta will have to enquire into and hear every complaint.
There is so much corruption within CBI and vigilance departments.
Their functioning is so secret that it encourages corruption within
All investigations in Lokpal & Lokayukta shall be transparent. After
completion of investigation, all case records shall be open to public.
Complaint against any staff of Lokpal & Lokayukta shall be enquired
and punishment announced within two months.
Weak and corrupt people are appointed as heads of anti-corruption agencies.
Politicians will have absolutely no say in selections of Chairperson
and members of Lokpal & Lokayukta. Selections will take place through
a transparent and public participatory process.
Citizens face harassment in government offices. Sometimes they are
forced to pay bribes. One can only complaint to senior officers. No
action is taken on complaints because senior officers also get their
Lokpal & Lokayukta will get public grievances resolved in time bound
manner, impose a penalty of Rs 250 per day of delay to be deducted
from the salary of guilty officer and award that amount as
compensation to the aggrieved citizen.
Nothing in law to recover ill gotten wealth. A corrupt person can come
out of jail and enjoy that money.
Loss caused to the government due to corruption will be recovered from
Small punishment for corruption- Punishment for corruption is minimum
6 months and maximum 7 years.
Enhanced punishment – The punishment would be minimum 5 years and
maximum of life imprisonment.
“दर्द होता रहा छटपटाते रहे, आईने॒से सदा चोट खाते रहे, वो वतन बेचकर
हम वतन के लिए॒सिर कटाते रहे”
280 लाख करोड़ का सवाल है …
भारतीय गरीब है लेकिन भारत देश कभी गरीब नहीं रहा”* ये कहना है स्विस
बैंक के डाइरेक्टर का. स्विस बैंक के डाइरेक्टर ने यह भी कहा है कि भारत
का लगभग 280 लाख करोड़ रुपये उनके स्विस बैंक में जमा है. ये रकम इतनी
है कि भारत का आने वाले 30 सालों का बजट बिना टैक्स के बनाया जा सकता है.
या यूँ कहें कि 60 करोड़ रोजगार के अवसर दिए जा सकते है. या यूँ भी कह
सकते है कि भारत के किसी भी गाँव से दिल्ली तक 4 लेन रोड बनाया जा सकता
ऐसा भी कह सकते है कि 500 से ज्यादा सामाजिक प्रोजेक्ट पूर्ण किये जा
सकते है. ये रकम इतनी ज्यादा है कि अगर हर भारतीय को 2000 रुपये हर महीने
भी दिए जाये तो 60 साल तक ख़त्म ना हो. यानी भारत को किसी वर्ल्ड बैंक से
लोन लेने कि कोई जरुरत नहीं है. जरा सोचिये … हमारे भ्रष्ट राजनेताओं
और नोकरशाहों ने कैसे देश को
लूटा है और ये लूट का सिलसिला अभी तक 2011 तक जारी है.
इस सिलसिले को अब रोकना बहुत ज्यादा जरूरी हो गया है. अंग्रेजो ने हमारे
भारत पर करीब 200 सालो तक राज करके करीब 1 लाख करोड़ रुपये लूटा.
मगर आजादी के केवल 64 सालों में हमारे भ्रस्टाचार ने 280 लाख करोड़ लूटा
है. एक तरफ 200 साल में 1 लाख करोड़ है और दूसरी तरफ केवल 64 सालों में
280 लाख करोड़ है. यानि हर साल लगभग 4.37 लाख करोड़, या हर महीने करीब 36
हजार करोड़ भारतीय मुद्रा स्विस बैंक में इन भ्रष्ट लोगों द्वारा जमा
करवाई गई है.
भारत को किसी वर्ल्ड बैंक के लोन की कोई दरकार नहीं है. सोचो की कितना
पैसा हमारे भ्रष्ट राजनेताओं और उच्च अधिकारीयों ने ब्लाक करके रखा हुआ
हमे भ्रस्ट राजनेताओं और भ्रष्ट अधिकारीयों के खिलाफ जाने का पूर्ण
अधिकार है.हाल ही में हुवे घोटालों का आप सभी को पता ही है – CWG घोटाला,
२ जी स्पेक्ट्रुम घोटाला , आदर्श होउसिंग घोटाला … और ना जाने कौन कौन
से घोटाले अभी उजागर होने वाले है ……..
आप लोग जोक्स फॉरवर्ड करते ही हो.
इसे भी इतना फॉरवर्ड करो की पूरा भारत इसे पढ़े … और एक आन्दोलन बन जाये
Spread it like fire;
our Nation needs us..please Contribute..
This is not just a article, it is the future of our Nation …