Posts Tagged ‘Life’

8 Golden rules for Businessmen

July 3, 2012

While starting out on a business endeavour, following a set of rules is crucial for finding success…

Without proper rules a business can go spiralling down and without taking too long at it. Following are golden rules that will ensure your success in business.

Map it out

Map where you want to head. Plant goals and results all across that mental map and keep checking it off once you start achieving them one by one.

Care for your people

People are your biggest asset. They are the ones who will drive your business to the top. Treat them well and they will treat you well, too.

Aim for greatness

Build a great company. Build great services or products. Instil a fun culture at your workplace. Inspire innovation. Inspire your people to keep coming with great ideas, because great ideas bring great changes.

Be wary

Keep a close eye on the people who you partner with. It doesn’t mean you have to be sceptical of them. But you shouldn’t naively believe everything you hear. Be smart and keep your eyes and ears open all the time.

Commit and stick to it

Once you make a decision, commit to it and follow through. Give it your all. If for some reason that decision doesn’t work, retract, go back to the drawing board and pick an alternate route. In business, you will have to make lots of sacrifices. Be prepared for that. It will all be worth it in the end.

Be proactive

Be proactive. Just having goals and not doing anything about them will not get you anywhere. If you don’t act, you will not get the results you’re looking for.

Perfect timing

Anticipation is the key to succeed in business. You should have the skills to anticipate changes in the market place and, the changing consumer preferences. You have to keep a tab on all this. Never rest on your past laurels and always look to inject newness into your business processes.

Not giving up

That’s the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t. As a businessman you should never give up, no matter what the circumstance. Keep on persevering. You will succeed sooner or later. The key is to never quit trying.

Follow these rules and you’ll find yourself scaling up the ladder of succcess.

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A Poem : In my silence I talk to him….

July 1, 2012

In my silence I talk to him

I talk to him when I am happy

I talk to him when I am sad

I talk to him in my ambivalence

I talk to him in my distress

I talk to him in my deep pain

In fact, I talk to him all the time

He listens to every single word of mine

He listens to me no matter what I speak

But yet I keep complaining that he doesn’t listen

And he listened to this also without complaining

He does miraculous things in his own different way

He is always there for me in all my ups and down

He is more powerful than I could ever imagine

He has made me survive in all impossible situations

He is always there for me

I talk to him in my silence….

He resides in me

I talk to him in my silence….

 

Written by : My Friend Saptha (However, she has no clue that it is here …. 😛 😛 🙂 )

ABC on Why to Visit Temples ? (Scientific Reason)

April 3, 2012

WHY TO VISIT TEMPLES ?
(Scientific Reason)

There are thousands of temples all over India in different size, shape and locations but not all of them are considered to be built the Vedic way. Generally, a temple should be located at a place where earth’s magnetic wave path passes through densely. It can be in the outskirts of a town/village or city, or in middle of the dwelling place, or on a hilltop. The essence of visiting a temple is discussed here.

Now, these temples are located strategically at a place where the positive energy is abundantly available from the magnetic and electric wave distributions of north/south pole thrust. The main idol is placed in the core center of the temple, known as “*Garbhagriha*” or *Moolasthanam*. In fact, the temple structure is built after the idol has been placed. This *Moolasthanam* is where earth’s magnetic waves are found to be maximum. We know that there are some copper plates, inscribed with Vedic scripts, buried beneath the Main Idol. What are they really? No, they are not God’s / priests’ flash cards when they forget the *shlokas*. The copper plate absorbs earth’s magnetic waves and radiates it to the surroundings. Thus a person regularly visiting a temple and walking clockwise around the Main Idol receives the beamed magnetic waves and his body absorbs it. This is a very slow process and a regular visit will let him absorb more of this positive energy. Scientifically, it is the positive energy that we all require to have a healthy life.

Further, the Sanctum is closed on three sides. This increases the effect of all energies. The lamp that is lit radiates heat energy and also provides light inside the sanctum to the priests or *poojaris* performing the pooja. The ringing of the bells and the chanting of prayers takes a worshipper into trance, thus not letting his mind waver. When done in groups, this helps people forget personal problems for a while and relieve their stress. The fragrance from the flowers, the burning of camphor give out the chemical energy further aiding in a different good aura. The effect of all these energies is supplemented by the positive energy from the idol, the copper plates and utensils in the *Moolasthan*am / *Garbagraham*. *Theertham*, the “holy” water used during the pooja to wash the idol is not
plain water cleaning the dust off an idol. It is a concoction of Cardamom,*Karpura* (Benzoin), zaffron / saffron, *Tulsi* (Holy Basil), Clove, etc…Washing the idol is to charge the water with the magnetic radiations thus increasing its medicinal values. Three spoons of this holy water is distributed to devotees. Again, this water is mainly a source of magneto-therapy. Besides, the clove essence protects one from tooth decay, the saffron & *Tulsi* leafs protects one from common cold and cough, cardamom and *Pachha Karpuram* (benzoin), act as mouth fresheners. It is proved that *Theertham* is a very good blood purifier, as it is highly energized. Hence it is given as *prasadam* to the devotees. This way, one can claim to remain healthy by regularly visiting the Temples. This is why our elders used to suggest us to offer prayers at the temple so that you will be cured of many ailments. They were not always superstitious. Yes, in a few cases they did go overboard when due to ignorance they hoped many serious diseases could be cured at temples by deities. When people go to a temple for the *Deepaaraadhana*, and when the doors open up, the positive energy gushes out onto the persons who are there. The water that is sprinkled onto the assemblages passes on the energy to all. This also explains why men are not allowed to wear shirts at a few temples and women are requested to wear more ornaments during temple visits. It is through these jewels (metal) that positive energy is absorbed by the women. Also, it is a practice to leave newly purchased jewels at an idol’s feet and then wear them with the idol’s blessings. This act is now justified after reading this article. This act of “seeking divine blessings” before using any new article, like books or pens or automobiles may have stemmed from this through mere observation.

Energy lost in a day’s work is regained through a temple visit and one is refreshed slightly. The positive energy that is spread out in the entire temple and especially around where the main idol is placed, are simply absorbed by one’s body and mind. Did you know, every Vaishnava(Vishnu devotees), “must” visit a Vishnu temple twice every day in their location. Our practices are NOT some hard and fast rules framed by 1 man and his followers or God’s words in somebody’s dreams. All the rituals, all the practices are, in reality, well researched, studied and scientifically backed thesis which form the ways of nature to lead a good healthy life.

The scientific and research part of the practices are well camouflaged as “elder’s instructions” or “granny’s teaching’s” which should be obeyed as a mark of respect so as to once again, avoid stress to the mediocre brains.

Just for Laughs…. !

March 11, 2012

Found this interesting……then SHARE…. 🙂

George Carlin’s view on changing Life !

March 9, 2012

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We’ve added years to life not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

~ George Carlin ~

Birth of Ram and The Ramayana !

March 7, 2012

Was Ram Born on 10th January 5114 BCE ?

Bharath Gyan, a Chennai-based NGO engaged in research on India’s traditions and culture, has produced a report which states that Lord Ram did indeed exist, and even put a date on his birth: January 10, 5114 BCE (Before the Christian Era).The Colonial British historians who came to shape our thoughts about 200 years back called Ramayana and other texts of India as mythological.

How right were they in their branding Indian Itihaasa as mythological? In the last decade or so, the scientific advancements that have taken place, have helped scientific historians revisit the text for historical proofs.

Bharath Gyan has researched information on Rama from a rational, scientific and logical perspective to try and understand if Rama has in reality been a historical person.

LITERARY

In the Ramayana text the family tree of Rama starts tracing his lineage right from Kashyapa Aditi to his times and after his times down to the times of Mahabaratha. This means at least 50 generations on either sides of Rama have been named and their achievements mentioned.

These names and their achievements have been cross verified in other literary texts of other periods of time when those kings who were the ancestors or successors to Rama lived. Such detailed lineage on either side along with their correlation in other texts would be possible if the persons mentioned therein are historical.

In the Tamil text Aga na nooru which belong to the Sangam literature period Rama is mentioned by name in the 70th song of Neithal Thinai. This indicates that he was not only popular in his region but was discussed by the pre-historic tamil scholars also.

During the Mughal times Begum Hamida Banu, wife of Humayun and the mother of Akbar prepared the Persian version of the Ramayana as it was a historical text of her land. Akbar prepared one more Ramayana during his times as Emperor. These texts are richly painted and are today in various museums of the world. These were not prepared as religious text but as historical texts of the land they ruled.

GEOGRAPHY

Ramayana as a text is geographically very correct. Every site on Rama’s route is still identifiable and has continuing traditions in the form of temples to commemorate Rama’s visit.

In those remote days no author had the travel facility to concoct a geographically credible story and building it into local folklore.

ARCHAEO-ASTRONOMYCan we give a date to Rama?

The concept of describing dates astronomically has been a practice in India since days bygone and thus lot of Indian literature are embedded with such astronomical data.

This is a technique of charting the future or past sky using a scientific tool. This tool helps to arrive at planetary positions given a date in future or past and vice-versa i.e. given a set of planetary configurations, arrive at the date either in future or in the past.

Such tools are collectively called Planetarium software. There are probably over 50 such different software available. Each software can be used specifically for a particular application, like, plotting the current night sky chart, predicting eclispes and the likes. When spacecrafts are launched to visit far-off planets like Jupiter and Saturn, it would take a travel time of well over 12 years for the spacecraft to reach these planets. This software helps determine orbital positions of the planets when the spacecraft reaches their orbits. For this, a high level of precision is required in the software.

Unlike any other civilization so far, the literature of the Indian civilization is characterised for being embedded with night sky observations. Feeding the observations of the planetary configurations into the Planetarium software gives us the English calender dates when these configurations could have occured in the past. When these dates are logically arranged along with the events, it helps us to scientifically assign dates to events mentioned in Indian legends and historical texts, and validate them.

Thus the astronomical remains left behind in our literature can be analysed scientifically to arrive at historic dates for various events. This approach is parallel to archaeology where physical remains are analysed to arrive at historic dates and hence gives rise to a new branch of scientific dating which may be called Archaeo-astronomy. Various modern day researchers have made use of this software to arrive at such historic dates for various events described in the Indian literature.

They have collated the outputs of such credible work which are worthy of standing up to cross validation. In the context of the Historicity of Rama, the works of Shri. Pushkar Bhatnagar, as brought out in the book “Dating the Era of Lord Ram” form the basis of what is presented here to understand the dates of the events in Rama’s lifetime .

This particular text, Ramayana, when analysed from a scientific perspective using such Archeo-Astronomy techniques, shows tremendous internal consistency between the events described astronomically and the storyline based elapse time between those events. This method puts forth the below mentioned dates for the events that occur in the Ramanaya legend.

Sri Rama Navami – Birth day 10th January 5114 BCE

Birth of Bharatha 11th January 5114 BCE

Pre coronation eve 4th January 5089 BCE Khar

Dushan episode 7th October 5077 BCE

Vali Vadham 3rd April 5076 BCE

Hanuman’s Visit to Lanka 12th September 5076 BCE

Hanuman’s Return from Lanka 14th September 5076 BCE

Army March to Lanka 12th September 5076 BCE

It is indeed noteworthy to observe that these dates are internally consistent

While the purpose of this software was different, it has now thrown open a potential for a new branch of science which can be named Archeo Astronomy as just like archeology it can help date events as described in literature. This software has now become declassified and is available for public use. This modern method of – Archeo Astronomy is still not accepted or practiced by traditional historians as it requires knowledge of traditional astronomy, mathematics as well modern day sky chart reading techniques all of which go into the realm of science.

This branch of archeology requires and will create a new breed of archeologists and has the potential to date more events from our vast store of literature than traditional archeology can.

Learn to “Move ON”

February 23, 2012

A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke.
All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time.
He cracked the same joke again & again, When there was no laughter in the crowd,
he smiled and said

“When u can’t laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again.

‘Forget the past & move on’…

Keep smiling …………coz dats wht can make u feel ur importance on earth…..:)

Have a nice day..:)

ABC to Shiva Lingam !

February 21, 2012
We have seen a lot many people lately, educated and unlike, find worshipping the Shivalinga a little….”embarassing”. This is simply because most of the times, the don’t know everything about it. Let’s have a look at the design first.
____________________________________________________________

❒ Structure :

To understand the whole concept, we need to know that as per Sanatan Dharma, the whole frame of universal/cosmic reality compromises of three fundamental states :

• Evolution (Shrishthi)===========> Brahma (Creator)
• Existence (Sthiti)=============> Vishnu (Preserver)
• Involution (Samhara)==========> Shiva (Destroyer)

These three states operate in a cyclic process, in that order, throughout infinity. Each state is controlled by a God; thus Brahma the creator controls evolution, Vishnu the preserver controls existence and Shiva the destroyer controls involution.

The Shivlinga, is nothing but the symbolic representation of the unity of these three states of the universe/cosmos. It consists of three parts :

• The Square Base : It is made up of three layers at the bottom showing the three mythical realms (lokas) :
=> 1) Bhu Loka or Marthya Loka for the human inhabitants (Earth)
=> 2) Bhuvar Loka for the spirits (Bhut) and transcended souls (Hell)
=> 3) Svar Loka (Swarga Loga) for the Devas or Demi Gods (Heaven)

It symbolizes evolution, and thus, the place of Brahma.

• The Octagonal Round : It is present in the middle and shows the eight directions (Ashta-dikpala) [Astha=Eight, Dik=Direction, Pala=Guardian] :
=> 1) North, guarded by Kuber
=> 2) South, guarded by Yama
=> 3) Indra East, guarded by Indra
=> 4) West, guarded by Varun
=> 5) Northeast, guarded by Ishyayna
=> 6) Southeast, guarded by Agni
=> 7) Northwest, guarded by Vayu
=> 8) Southwest guarded by Niruthi

It symbolizes existence or perseverance, and thus, the place of Vishnu.

• The Cylinder : It is at the top with a spherical end, symbolizing involution or completion of the cosmic cycle, and thus, the place of Shiva.
______________________________________________________________

❒ Rationality:

Naturally, people ask, why the “linga”? Why the phallus? Let’s get to it.

First and foremost, as per Sanskrit, “linga” means symbol/sign. In the “Shvetasvatara Upanishad” it is said that Lord Shiva, the Supreme Being, has no linga (i.e. sign or symbol). What it means is that it is impossible to define Brahman (the one supreme, universal Spirit that is the origin and support of the phenomenal universe) or that is alinga.

So how does one pray to this Brahman who is beyond any definable/comprehensible characteristic? The answer to that is simple. In Sanatana Dharma, each individual has the freedom to define the Supreme Being/Spirit or Brahman in the most convenient way he/she is comfortable.

Now think back. What is the most astonishing miracle that living beings experience? The answer is simple…it’s the creation of a new life from two lives. It is only natural that the male reproductive organ appeared to people as the ideal symbol of expression of Supreme Being/Spirit as it represented strength and regenerative power. When a Linga is installed on a Yoni, it represents the union of Shiva and Shakti, and thus, the beginning of creation.

What is also represent is the harmony of energies in the cosmos. The balance of the male and female energies, the Ying and the Yang from China, the day and the night, the sun and the moon, the white and the black, the Devas and the Asuras and so on. Besides, phalluses and menhirs were worshipped in many ancient societies. Google will help you with that.

The Mahabharata itself states that Shiva’s linga was worshipped by many!

• Chapter 7, section 20, verse 22 : Know everything, which is male, to be Ishana, and all that is female to be Uma; for this whole world, animate and inanimate, is pervaded by these two bodies. Shiva’s divine Linga is worshipped by the Gods, seers, Gandharvas and Apsaras.

• Chapter 13, section 19, verses 78 : The greatness of this form of Shiva is based on the fact that the children bear neither the lotus symbol of Brahma nor of Vishnu’s discus; but one marked with the male and female organs, the linga and yoni, originated from Mahadeva and Devi.

In the Puranas, it is said : The Supreme Being appeared before Lord Brahma and Vishnu in the form of a ‘pillar of fire’, which had no end and beginning.

The incarnations of Lord Vishnu, viz, Lord Ram, Parshuram and Lord Krishna, are all known to have worshipped the Shiv Linga.

It is now that the society has come to revile sex and hence everything to do with it. Why, is a different matter for another post. 😉
But when one thinks with a clear mind without any prejudices, there is no other more appropriate form that signifies the Brahman and the basis of life itself in the cosmos.

Later on, due to influences of the society, people have become more comfortable with worshipping Shiva in his human complete form alongside Parvati. Xenophanes had even said that is horses or lions had hands, they would have created images of God akin to their own kind who were horselike or lionlike. So it’s all but natural for humans to resculpt gods in human images.

It doesn’t matter though. Like previously said, in Sanatana Dharma, each individual has the freedom to define the Supreme Being/Spirit or Brahman in the most convenient way he/she is comfortable. When one worships the Shiva-Linga, one is worshipping the trinity of Gods, the complete universal fundamental states and thus, the very existence of the Supreme Being. After all, everything is Brahman.

Accolades – Steve Jobs !!

November 8, 2011

Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder, has passed away

Industry’s reaction towards the passing of Steve Jobs

He was born in the Silicon Valley, and made a personal computer in his family’s garage, and passed away as a superstar of Silicon Valley. But Steve Jobs isn’t just about that. He found Apple together with his friend Steve Wozniak, founded NeXT Computer after being fired from Apple, bought up Pixar and gave us ‘Toy Story’ which I’m sure everyone knows. His life isn’t just about the iPhone, iPad, and Mac. He’s also made many friends, and here’s what they have to say about his departure.

“We’ve lost something we won’t get back. The way I see it, though, the way people love products (that) he put so much into creating means he brought a lot of life to the world.”

– Steve Wozniak

“The world rarely sees someone who has had the profound impact Steve has had, the effects of which will be felt for many generations to come. For those of us lucky enough to get to work with him, it’s been an insanely great honor. I will miss Steve immensely.”

— Bill Gates

“From the earliest days of Google, whenever Larry and I sought inspiration for vision and leadership, we needed to look no farther than Cupertino. Steve, your passion for excellence is felt by anyone who has ever touched an Apple product (including the macbook I am writing this on right now). And I have witnessed it in person the few times we have met. On behalf of all of us at Google and more broadly in technology, you will be missed very much. My condolences to family, friends, and colleagues at Apple.”

— Sergey Brin

“I am very, very sad to hear the news about Steve. He was a great man with incredible achievements and amazing brilliance. He always seemed to be able to say in very few words what you actually should have been thinking before you thought it. His focus on the user experience above all else has always been an inspiration to me. He was very kind to reach out to me as I became CEO of Google and spend time offering his advice and knowledge even though he was not at all well. My thoughts are with his family and the whole Apple family.”

— Larry Page

“Steve, thank you for being a mentor and a friend. Thanks for showing that what you build can change the world. I will miss you.”

— Mark Zuckerberg

“He was dubbed a megalomaniac, but Steve Jobs often gambled on young, largely inexperienced talent to take Apple forward; Jony Ive and his team prove that such faith was spot on.”

— Sir James Dyson, innovator and entrepreneur

“I got one of the first Macs, and my relationship with computers fundamentally changed. In both of his incarnations at Apple, he was a visionary. He provided tools. His victories were based on imagination and courage.”

— Roger Ebert, Pulitzer-prize winning film critic

“No words can adequately express our sadness at Steve’s death or our gratitude for the opportunity to work with him. We will honor his memory by dedicating ourselves to continuing the work he loved so much.”

— Tim Cook, CEO of Apple

“Tonight our City — a city that has always had such respect and admiration for creative genius — joins with people around the planet in remembering a great man and keeping Laurene and the rest of the Jobs family in our thoughts and prayers.”

— Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City

“Steve Jobs was an extraordinary visionary, our very dear friend and the guiding light of the Pixar family. He saw the potential of what Pixar could be before the rest of us, and beyond what anyone ever imagined. Steve took a chance on us and believed in our crazy dream of making computer animated films; the one thing he always said was to simply ‘make it great.’ He is why Pixar turned out the way we did and his strength, integrity and love of life has made us all better people. He will forever be a part of Pixar’s DNA. Our hearts go out to his wife Laurene and their children during this incredibly difficult time.”

— John Lasseter, Chief Creative Officer, and Ed Catmull, President, Walt Disney and Pixar Animation Studios

“The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve’s success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented. Michelle and I send our thoughts and prayers to Steve’s wife Laurene, his family, and all those who loved him.”

— President Barack Obama

“Steve Jobs was an iconic entrepreneur and businessman whose impact on technology was felt beyond Silicon Valley. He will be remembered for the innovation he brought to market and the inspiration he brought to the world.”

— Meg Whitman, President and CEO, HP

“Steve was my hero growing up. He not only gave me a lot of personal advice and encouragement, he showed all of us how innovation can change lives.I will miss him dearly, as will the world.”

— Jerry Yang

“Steve was such an ‘original,’ with a thoroughly creative, imaginative mind that defined an era. Despite all he accomplished, it feels like he was just getting started. With his passing the world has lost a rare original, Disney has lost a member of our family, and I have lost a great friend.”

— Bob Iger, CEO of Disney

“I want to express my deepest condolences at the passing of Steve Jobs, one of the founders of our industry and a true visionary. My heart goes out to his family, everyone at Apple and everyone who has been touched by his work.”

— Steve Ballmer

Married or not… you should read this…… !!

October 28, 2011

Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

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