ABC to get a Perfect Guy !!

Relationships are funny. You never know what works for some people. Maybe your best friend is with someone that you can’t stand. Maybe the only thing holding you back from meeting the perfect someone is the fact that they like peanut butter and you can’t stand it. Maybe we spend so much time debating it and going over the rights and wrongs in our heads that we have lost sight of the things that are really important. What do we want from our life partner? What basic needs do we have out of a relationship? Is your nitpicking going to hinder your approach to love?

A lot of people want to know how to find love. A lot of people are sure that if they just stumble upon the perfect someone, everything will go according to plan. This is not true. For one thing, there is no such thing as the perfect person, just someone who is perfect for you. For another, it takes a lot of work to keep a relationship healthy and happy. So, the tips I’m going to offer today work as guidelines towards finding your special someone, but bearing in mind that these things take time. Disclaimer in place, let’s begin.

1) Examine your life: If you’ve been single for a really long time, you begin to wonder what it is you’re doing wrong. How come everyone else is happy and content, getting married all around you and you’re all alone? Relax. It’s got nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with your habits. As human beings, we like the safe and the secure. We’re comfortable in familiar environments. Your familiar environment might be the group of friends you’ve had since school, or the couples you befriended from work, or just people you have known for a very long time. And in this secure setting, your “safe place” you aren’t going to meet anyone new. In order to find Mr/Ms Right, you need to explore the places he or she might be. If you’re very, very lucky, he or she is one of your best friends. But like it or not, life is not a movie and this doesn’t happen to most people. Get out of your comfort zones, asap, start accepting invitations from random people, go to a party by yourself maybe, or even do something as simple as talk to someone you’ve been wanting to speak to for a long time. You’ll be surprised how therapeutic this can be and how it can really pave the way for you to open your mind to new experiences.

2) Have a check-list: By now you probably have a pretty good idea of what the perfect person should be like. Make a note of it in your head. What are your deal breakers? Are you a non-smoker? A vegetarian? Need someone who loves to travel? Whatever your essentials are, make sure that the other person has them. These are things that don’t change much with time, so give up trying to mould someone else. Be sure you know what you want before you go out for it.

3) Destroy your check-list: Not everything can be brought down to a simple list. Okay, sure, so some things are non-negotiable. But relationships are also about compromise and you don’t want to load someone else down with the weight of all your expectations. Keep it simple and maybe you’ll learn to love the things they love too. You’ll never know till you try.

4) Learn to love yourself: This may sound cliché, but I cannot emphasise too much how important this is. People take cues from other people. Chances are, if you play yourself as an unassuming, self-deprecatory person, other people will view you as that too. Now, I’m not saying be a show off. But be confident and embrace your flaws and your good qualities equally. Nothing is as sexy as someone with confidence and that’s what you should be, to draw other people to you.

5) Stop obsessing: And finally, stop having all these rules for your life. Okay so that hot girl never called you back. It’s not a big deal. At the end of the day, you should be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Someone who respects who you are and loves you for it. If you keep thinking to yourself, ‘Oh, I should be married by the time I’m thirty’ I can guarantee you that you will wind up ‘settling’ for someone instead of waiting for the perfect person. And they’re out there. It just needs a little patience.

Good luck to you in your search for love.

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