4 Friends …. Must Read !

Amazing analogy! Makes you pause & think….. to all my friends do read even if you’re busy have you not heard about the phrase “Stop and Smell the Flower”

This is something to think about: 4 BOYFRIENDS

Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of* ** * delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult* * times.

The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, * * I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I’ll be all alone.”

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, “I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?”

“No way!”, replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, “I loved you all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?”

“No!”, replied the 3rd boyfriend. “Life is too good! When you die, I’m going to marry someone else!”

Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, “I have always turned to you for help and you’ve always been there for me.

When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!”, replied the 2nd boyfriend. “At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.”

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: “I’ll go with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.”

The girl looked up, and there was his first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, “I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!”

 

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day:Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.

Pass this on to someone you care about – I just did.

NB! Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

I hope this touched you!

Logically Speaking !!!

 

>— I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I’m perfect.

>— If I save time, when do I get it back?

>— The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

>— As I said before, I never repeat myself.

>— Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

>— If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

>— War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who is left.

>— Best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk.

>— If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity.

>— I was born intelligent…. education ruined me.

>— A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… What more can I say !

>— If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

>— Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

>— How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

>— Don’t frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

>— The Best of Proverbs :

Should women have children after 35?

No, 35 children are enough

>— Living on Earth may be expensive…but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun….!

>— Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep!

>— SMOKING KILLS SLOWLY.

So what? Who’s in a hurry?

>— A drunk was hauled into court.

“Mister”, the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking….”

“Great,” the drunk exclaimed . When do we get started ?

>— Can you do anything that other people can’t ?

Sure, I can read my handwriting…..!

 

 

ABC to get a Perfect Guy !!

Relationships are funny. You never know what works for some people. Maybe your best friend is with someone that you can’t stand. Maybe the only thing holding you back from meeting the perfect someone is the fact that they like peanut butter and you can’t stand it. Maybe we spend so much time debating it and going over the rights and wrongs in our heads that we have lost sight of the things that are really important. What do we want from our life partner? What basic needs do we have out of a relationship? Is your nitpicking going to hinder your approach to love?

A lot of people want to know how to find love. A lot of people are sure that if they just stumble upon the perfect someone, everything will go according to plan. This is not true. For one thing, there is no such thing as the perfect person, just someone who is perfect for you. For another, it takes a lot of work to keep a relationship healthy and happy. So, the tips I’m going to offer today work as guidelines towards finding your special someone, but bearing in mind that these things take time. Disclaimer in place, let’s begin.

1) Examine your life: If you’ve been single for a really long time, you begin to wonder what it is you’re doing wrong. How come everyone else is happy and content, getting married all around you and you’re all alone? Relax. It’s got nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with your habits. As human beings, we like the safe and the secure. We’re comfortable in familiar environments. Your familiar environment might be the group of friends you’ve had since school, or the couples you befriended from work, or just people you have known for a very long time. And in this secure setting, your “safe place” you aren’t going to meet anyone new. In order to find Mr/Ms Right, you need to explore the places he or she might be. If you’re very, very lucky, he or she is one of your best friends. But like it or not, life is not a movie and this doesn’t happen to most people. Get out of your comfort zones, asap, start accepting invitations from random people, go to a party by yourself maybe, or even do something as simple as talk to someone you’ve been wanting to speak to for a long time. You’ll be surprised how therapeutic this can be and how it can really pave the way for you to open your mind to new experiences.

2) Have a check-list: By now you probably have a pretty good idea of what the perfect person should be like. Make a note of it in your head. What are your deal breakers? Are you a non-smoker? A vegetarian? Need someone who loves to travel? Whatever your essentials are, make sure that the other person has them. These are things that don’t change much with time, so give up trying to mould someone else. Be sure you know what you want before you go out for it.

3) Destroy your check-list: Not everything can be brought down to a simple list. Okay, sure, so some things are non-negotiable. But relationships are also about compromise and you don’t want to load someone else down with the weight of all your expectations. Keep it simple and maybe you’ll learn to love the things they love too. You’ll never know till you try.

4) Learn to love yourself: This may sound cliché, but I cannot emphasise too much how important this is. People take cues from other people. Chances are, if you play yourself as an unassuming, self-deprecatory person, other people will view you as that too. Now, I’m not saying be a show off. But be confident and embrace your flaws and your good qualities equally. Nothing is as sexy as someone with confidence and that’s what you should be, to draw other people to you.

5) Stop obsessing: And finally, stop having all these rules for your life. Okay so that hot girl never called you back. It’s not a big deal. At the end of the day, you should be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Someone who respects who you are and loves you for it. If you keep thinking to yourself, ‘Oh, I should be married by the time I’m thirty’ I can guarantee you that you will wind up ’settling’ for someone instead of waiting for the perfect person. And they’re out there. It just needs a little patience.

Good luck to you in your search for love.

Know some unknown history of words !

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. – All invented by women.

MOPED is the short term for ‘Motorized Pedaling’.

POP MUSIC is ‘Popular Music’ shortened.

BUS is the short term for ‘Omnibus’ that means everybody.

FORTNIGHT comes from ‘Fourteen Nights’ (Two Weeks).

DRAWING ROOM was actually a ‘withdrawing room’ where people withdrew after  Dinner. Later the prefix ‘with’ was dropped..

NEWS refers to information from Four directions N, E, W and S..

AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from ‘Agricultural Marketing’.

JOURNAL is a diary that tells about ‘Journey for a day’ during each Day’s business.

QUEUE comes from ‘Queen’s Quest’.. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen’s Quest.

TIPS come from ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travellers used to drop coins in a Box  on which was written ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named ‘General Purpose Vehicle  (GP)’.GP was changed into JEEP later.

Interesting Facts……………………

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters  only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky..

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.

Spades – King David

Clubs – Alexander the Great,

Hearts – Charlemagne

Diamonds – Julius Caesar.

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

 

Four Management Lessons !

* Lesson Number One *

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

* Lesson Number Two *

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

* Lesson Number Three *

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!

* Lesson Number Four  *

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

 

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:-

Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:-

No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…

Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-

Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??

Answer:-

No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years…

Stupid Question:-

Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.

Answer:-

Well you haven’t particularly s hr unk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…

Stupid Question:-

Is the guy you’re marrying good?

Answer:-

No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout….it’s just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

Stupid Question:-

Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:-

No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…

Stupid Question:-

Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:-

No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. …

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:-

Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:-

No it wont. It will just bleed.

10.. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…

Stupid Question:-

Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:-

Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

 

 

Best Divorce Letter !!!

Dear hubby:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.. I’ve

been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last

straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut,

had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your

games. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want anything

that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you

don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Wife

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West

Virginia

together! Have a great life!

Husband’s reply to his wife’s letter :

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a

far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my games so much because they drown

out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice

when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was

‘You look just like a boy!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything

if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my

favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I

stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away

from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was

a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I

hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets

to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason,

I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that

the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as

Carla(woman)………I hope that’s not a problem

Dilbert’s one liners !

Here are some nice Dilbert’s one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Try & try, if you don’t succeed, then CHEAT

4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success…. Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

……. and here’s the best of the lot……..

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else!

Another Love story to beautify my Blog

 

due

to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was

too

nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,

let

me go home…. suddenly he asked the waiter. ‘would you please give me

some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.’

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he

put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him

curiously; why

you

have this hobby? He replied: ‘when I was a little boy, I was living near

the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,

just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty

coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my

hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there’. While

saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can

tell

out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,

has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about

her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice

talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets

all

her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted,

warm, careful. He was

such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty

coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess

married to the prince, then they were living the happy life… And,

every

time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she

knew that’s the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: ‘My

dearest,

please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I

said

to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so

nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It

was

hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be

the start of

our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times

in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to

lie

to you for anything..

Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like

the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste…. But I have had the salty

coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for

anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my

whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you

and

have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee

again’.

Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what’s

the taste of salty coffee?

It’s sweet. She replied.

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear

but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!

Don’t ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends..

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ‘…that’s her.’

An amazing Love Story

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after

her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the

party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but

due

to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was

too

nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,

let

me go home…. suddenly he asked the waiter. ‘would you please give me

some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.’

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he

put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him

curiously; why

you

have this hobby? He replied: ‘when I was a little boy, I was living near

the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,

just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty

coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my

hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there’. While

saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can

tell

out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,

has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about

her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice

talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets

all

her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted,

warm, careful. He was

such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty

coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess

married to the prince, then they were living the happy life… And,

every

time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she

knew that’s the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: ‘My

dearest,

please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I

said

to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so

nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It

was

hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be

the start of

our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times

in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to

lie

to you for anything..

Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like

the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste…. But I have had the salty

coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for

anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my

whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you

and

have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee

again’.

Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what’s

the taste of salty coffee?

It’s sweet. She replied.

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!

Don’t ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends..

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ‘…that’s her.’

People who liked this, will love to read this as well : Laws on Girls !! @http://wp.me/pjgY2-7N

The Axe Effect !!

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal
embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man
has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of
men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental
suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at
all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now.
Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly
attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and
half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons,
anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to
the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics
test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step
when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her
after applying all the Axe products. cid:image010.gif@01CA2192.E9691400

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the **** is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over
seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever
agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure
they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always
applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they
show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely
bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over
a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the
company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that
if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as
directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake
products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from
direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray
and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at
least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my
5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it
to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom
beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public
humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate
him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to
mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court
premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in
the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to
be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over
the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav
was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the
bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially
HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL
could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very
risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that
unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of
the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely
ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of
court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

People who liked this, will love to read this as well : Laws on Girls !! @ http://wp.me/pjgY2-7N